Diagnosis

"Doctor!" said the woman as she loudly bounced into the room, "I want
you to tell me very frankly what's wrong with me."

He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've
just three things to tell you."

"First, you need to lose at least twenty pounds. Second, that blouse
doesn't go with that skirt. And third, I'm a fashion designer - the
doctor's office is on the next floor..."