I Hate the English...

....says AA Gill.


The Sunday Times published an extract today from AA Gill's new book on The
English. He loudly announced that he hates the English. Like John Carey,
whose book on the arts I keep meaning to read, his publishing contract and
book sales depend on controversial statements.
He rattles off what you expect from a privileged member of society of his
age and background: the English are ghastly racists, atavistic and
repressing murderous rage with an obsession with rules, regulations and
queuing.
Of course, under the occasionally witty barbs, it's all the same de haut
en bas sniping that Gill probably despised in Daddy's generation.
Orwell, who also transmogrified his potty training into geopolitical
loathing, was so much better about the English. Gill - at least in the
extract in the Times - doesn't seem to have noticed any other side of the
English except the one that he wishes to exaggerate. You won't find here
anything about the English that spends so much on flowers and seeks to
protect birds and animals, that abolished slavery and invented cricket. This
is Martin Amis-ville: rich kid hangs out with the working class, 'gets' them
and then takes the piss out of them.
He rather foolishly uses the crowd at a football match as a sort of
snapshot of the English at play. This of course is woefully inadequate. He
also asserts that young men laughing cruelly at each other pubs is unique to
England. He is a world class traveler where I have never been anywhere much,
but I find it hard to believe.
According to the set of dislikes laid down in the extract, I am everything
Gill hates: I use humour as an offensive and defensive weapon, laugh loudly
and look at mainland Europe derisively. I also get angry about a lot of
things. By the way, he has a bloody cheek saying the British are obsessed
with rules and regs - the British simply cannot compete with the Europeans
for official paperwork and documents.
In the end, you only have to think of how the world would be if the
English were more like Somalians or Italians to stick Gill's thesis in the
bin. He brushes off the tyranny and insanity of political correctness by
saying he makes jokes about the Welsh but defends his hypocrisy in leaving
Jews and other minorities out his piss taking by saying they have had enough
thrown at them. Maybe so. Who decides when they can become funny again?

ROBBIE

I love the English. Except for Public Schools. And the class system.

I couldn't bear to send my little boy away to one of those horrid
places, especially after reading Orwell. But I understand why many
parents did.

Guardian readers are also a pain in the ass. But luckily, they don't
matter for much. I put them on the same level as soccer hoodlums.
They're about as rational.

JV