Hello,
It's David. Your publisher. With a desperate cry for help.
For several weeks now, I've had my fact-finders in the chamber
department of the inspection division at the company of Humpenfeld and
those of which I speak on a mission to locate the whereabouts of a
certain poet and world-renown philosopher, but so far they have been
unable to come up with any clues.
This writer has had as much of an illustrious past as any, and his
poems have been featured throughout the world, on the internet and he
even has a few top-ranking tomes featured on Amazon.com.
If that's not enough, it's also a fact that along with Celine,
Dostoyevsky, Jeffers and Pound, he ranks right up there as one of
Charles Bukowski's favorite scribes of all time.
Maybe THE favorite, and a strong influence too.
Here's what Bukowski said about him:
"He knows how to write a sentence. Most can't."
Proof Positive! Right there! Clear as day! When he says "most can't."
You see what I mean? I mean, if that's not a compliment, I don't know
what is.
Additionally, there's a shirtless photo of him in one of the latest
Bukowski biographies where he's leering into the camera, straining of
neck muscle, removing any doubt as to what you're dealing with.
Of course I'm talking about a certain Steve Richmond, if you haven't
guessed yet. He is the author of Hitler Painted Roses and Spinning off
Bukowski, and he's also a famous reviewer of his own works on
Amazon.com.
Here's what he said about Spinning, for instance:
2 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
I'm the author, March 30, 2003
Reviewer: steven a richmond (santa monica, CA United States) - See all
my reviews
My only criticism of this volume is a good number of vital chapters are
missing.. edited out. Every chapter is a single interaction of myself
with Bukowski: I relive the event (in the present tense) writing down
exactly what is happening, along with the when/where/who/why factors
involved. My publisher had a "pre-set" length in pages (around 150)
that he wanted to print/publish. Therefore my original manuscript was
cut down to a much shorter final manuscript. Thus SPINNING OFF BUKOWSKI
shows a good deal of "blank canvas" in its final printed form (at least
on my eye). It seems to me a finished SPINNING would approach 500 pages
rather than the 150 page volume now on sale all over the place (Earth).
E mail me (por favor) if interested.
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please cancel piece I submitted earlier today, March 30, 2003
Reviewer: A reader
In case I submitted a "review" of my own book earlier today, please
don't print it. It's inappropriate to say least.
thanks,
steve richmond
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Richmond, not exactly at his finest, but Richmond nonetheless.
AND THAT'S WHAT COUNTS.
And we need him. To complete the triumvirate of artistes we are housing
at our exclusive quarters high in the mountains of North Carolina.
Just think of the possibilities.
Larsen (talking about curveballs and busses VLOOMING),
Ockery (with his song-poems and willingness to wear
chicken suits)
& Richmond (shirtless, straining of neck muscle).
These comrades,
these roommates
butt-
buddies extraordinaire.
Again, any help would be appreciated.
David
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