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ivaf

External


Since: Jun 22, 2004
Posts: 758



(Msg. 1) Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2003 8:01 pm
Post subject: Lock the PG rating in the back room.....
Archived from groups: alt>books>m-lackey (more info?)
And make sure there's lots of Barney tapes available....





Okay, you've been warned......



Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and they
both go before an angel to find out if they'll be admitted to
heaven.

Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the angel
must decide which of them gets in.

The angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she
should go to heaven, whereupon she takes off her top and says,
"Look at these. They're the most perfect breasts God ever
created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them
every day, for eternity."

The angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question.
The Queen drops her skirt and panties, takes a bottle of Perrier
out of her purse, shakes it up, and douches with it.

The angel says, "OK, your Majesty, you may go in."

Dolly is outraged."What was that all about? I show you two of
God's own perfect creations and you turn me down. She performs a
rude act of hygiene and she gets in. Would you explain that to
me?"

Sorry, Dolly," says the angel, "but even in heaven, a royal flush
beats a pair, no matter how big they are."

--
Purrt the ghatta
Part-time gryphon
Disciple to the Goddess of Chocolate
Owner of a full Pedant's licenc/se
Goddess of Impertinence
Snikkrish the Tearer
Carpe Bean

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bgbear528

External


Since: Jun 06, 2004
Posts: 126



(Msg. 2) Posted: Mon Dec 15, 2003 12:52 am
Post subject: Re: Lock the PG rating in the back room..... [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)
 >From: "Purrt" ivaf.TakeThisOut@ptd.net

 >Sorry, Dolly," says the angel, "but even in heaven, a royal flush
 >beats a pair, no matter how big they are."

POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JEFF THE BEAR
The three best things in life are family, friends, and books.<!-- ~MESSAGE_AFTER~ -->

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ivaf

External


Since: Jun 22, 2004
Posts: 758



(Msg. 3) Posted: Mon Dec 15, 2003 12:52 am
Post subject: Re: Lock the PG rating in the back room..... [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)
Jeff the Bear wrote:
  > >From: "Purrt" ivaf DeleteThis @ptd.net
 >
  > >Sorry, Dolly," says the angel, "but even in heaven, a royal
flush
  > >beats a pair, no matter how big they are."
 >
 > POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you!







But shouldn't that be two points? <snirk>

--
Purrt the ghatta
Part-time gryphon
Disciple to the Goddess of Chocolate
Owner of a full Pedant's licenc/se
Goddess of Impertinence
Snikkrish the Tearer
Carpe Bean<!-- ~MESSAGE_AFTER~ -->
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kem_teknospam1

External


Since: Jul 30, 2003
Posts: 293



(Msg. 4) Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2003 1:33 am
Post subject: Re: Lock the PG rating in the back room..... [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)
   >>>Sorry, Dolly," says the angel, "but even in heaven, a royal
 >
 > flush
 >
   >>>beats a pair, no matter how big they are."
  >>
  >>POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 > But shouldn't that be two points? <snirk>

From David Letterman's Top Ten Archive:

Top Ten Dolly Parton Pet Peeves

10. Accountants who don't understand how much it costs to make me
look this cheap

9. Trying to play guitar with three-inch fingernails

8. When the country declares my hair a fire hazard

7. Confused Dalai Lama constantly asking for theme park royalties

6. You can't get a wig repaired because Letterman's got some kind
of hairpiece crisis

5. Rhinestone rash

4. Whenever he visits my gift shop, Garth Brooks tries to shoplift
stuff under that big hat

3. Smartass emcees who introduce you by saying, "and now here they
are -- Dolly Parton!"

2. When the Super Bowl is over, winner never says, "I'm goin' to
Dollywood"

1. Nobody notices I've got a great ass, too



--

I'm glad my Mom named me Aaron,
That's what everybody calls me.

Hemidemisemideity of Anonymous Eponymity
Patron Saint of Hair Color Changing
Holder of a provisional pedant licens/ce
(limited to the area of physical sciens/ce)
Member of ABMLNCSC - Base singer, very base
"Mommy, make daddy stop singing"

There are 10 kinds of people in this world,
Those who understand Binary, and those who don't.<!-- ~MESSAGE_AFTER~ -->
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user477

External


Since: Jul 06, 2003
Posts: 115



(Msg. 5) Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2003 12:44 pm
Post subject: Re: Lock the PG rating in the back room..... [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)
Purrt <ivaf.DeleteThis@ptd.net> wrote:

 > Jeff the Bear wrote:
   > > >From: "Purrt" ivaf.DeleteThis@ptd.net
  > >
   > > >Sorry, Dolly," says the angel, "but even in heaven, a royal
 > flush
   > > >beats a pair, no matter how big they are."
  > >
  > > POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 >
 > Thank you!
 >
 > But shouldn't that be two points? <snirk>

Just two?
I always thought a ghatta has more than two points.

Axel<!-- ~MESSAGE_AFTER~ -->
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