Searching for non-fiction book title

I'm looking for a book I read in the summer of 2001. I do not have the title or the author, only quotes from text that I wrote down. I'm almost certain the book was published between 1999 and 2002. Quotes: "A mother's function is to create an environment for her baby in which it is safe to be nobody." "For an infant relaxation means not feeling a need to integrate because the mother's ego-supportive function is taken for granted." "The infant who can 'be' as opposed to the one who can only 'do' has the capacity to feel real. In the unintegrated state he makes discoveries about himself that affirm his existing." "Non-demanding support is essential for capacity to 'be'." These quotes may not be exact but are close to exact. This was either a psychology book, a self-help book or a human development book.