Slapstick may be the funniest book ever!

I have read "Slapstick" about 5 times now - I just re-read it, again,
and I swear it STILL strikes me as hilarious. The whole book is filled
with the greatest jokes. It's a real rib-tickler.

For those of you who don't know the book, (or those who do but may
have forgotten), "Slapstick" is the book K called the closest thing
he'll ever write to an autobiography.

That's a joke in itself because the book is ostensibly about K and his
sister, who he said was the person he wrote all his books for. She
died some years before he wrote "Slapstick" and he was on a flight
with his brother, going to some other funeral, when he came up with
the ideas for "Slapstick". It's ostensibly a crazy parody of Kurt and
his sister.

The main characters are Eliza Mellon and Wilbur Rockefeller Swain, a
brother and sister who are freakishly tall and ugly, and who, between
them have the brain of a genius, but when separated, are dumb as rocks
- well at least, far short of "genius". Eliza cannot read nor write,
she is the intuitive part of the genius pair; and Wilbur can read and
write but has little real intelligence without Eliza's intuition and
insights.

There is a lot of funny stuff going on, like how they pretend to be
idiots, because that is what their parents expect of them. Whenever
anyone is around they say only stuff like "Buh" and "duh", bluh bluh
duh and etc...

Without giving too much away, I would like to share with you what I
think is one of Vonnegut's best jokes of all time. In order to do
that, I must fill you in on a few more details, but I won't give too
much away. Anyway, the joy of reading it is in the details and style,
so it won't ruin the book for you.

So the parents finally find out their secret, that they really are not
idiots, and the intelligence tests had shown when they were tested
-individually- that Wilbur is of average intelligence but Eliza is an
idiot because she cannot read nor write, so the doctor suggests that
Wilbur be separated from his idiot sister and be sent to a normal
school while she is sent to a special school for idiots.

So the parents are going to separate them, which is when Eliza and
Wilbur decide to prove their genius as one mind, so they insist on
being tested while TOGETHER, so they will not be separated. The
following is what happens.

I believe Kurt will forgive me, as he looks on from the Turkey Farm,
as I copy 2 pages from "Slapstick" below, with all rights to the
author of course:
-----------------------------

"So Eliza and I were re-tested - as a PAIR this time. We sat
side-by-side at the stainless steel table in the tiled diningroom.

We were so happy!

A depersonalized Dr. Cordelia Swain Cordiner administered the tests
like a robot, while our parents looked on. She has furnished us with
new tests, so that the chalenges would all be fresh.

Before we began, Eliza said to Mother and Father, "We promise to
answer every question correctly."

Which we did.

What were the questions like? Well, I was poking around the ruins of a
school on Forty-sixth Street yesterday, and I was lucky enough to find
a whole batch of intelligence tests, all set to go.

I quote: "A man purchased 100 shares of stock at five dollars a share.
If each share rose ten cents the first month, decreased eight cents
the second month, and gained three cents the third month, what was the
value of the man's investment at the end of the third month?"

Or try this:
"How many digits are there to the left of the decimal place in the
square root of 692038.42753?"
Or this:
A yellow tulip viewed through a piece of blue glass looks what color?"
Or this:
"Why does the Little Dipper appear to turn about the North Star once a
day?"
Or this:
"Astronomy is to geology as steeplejack is to what?"
And so on. Hi ho.
***

We made good on Eliza's promise of perfection, as I have said.

The only trouble was that the two of us, in the innocent process of
checking and rechecking our answers, wound up under the table - with
our legs wrapped around each others' necks in scissors grips, and
snorting and snuffling into each others' crotches.

When we regained our chairs, Dr. Cordelia Swain Cordiner had fainted,
and our parents were gone.
***

At ten o'clock the next morning, I was taken by automobile to a school
for severely disturbed children on Cape Cod."

- Chapter 18 from "Slapstick" by Kurt Vonnegut
------------------------------------------------------

Does anyone else find that hilarious?! I do.

The whole book is hilarious. It's very dark, dry humor, about the end
of the world as we know it.

And it can be read in about an hour or two (I read it in bits and
pieces so I can't say for sure exactly how long it took, but it's a
very quick read, with each chapter being 2-4 pages, typically.)

I highly recommend it if you want to laugh, while grieving over the
passing of Kurt, to the Turkey Farm.

Hi ho.

Slapstick is one of my personal faves of Kurt

<A.Nonimus DeleteThis @nospam.tv> wrote in message
news:e7da23dkpvo8j27b1i2ube5skrpfuc157s@4ax.com...
> I have read "Slapstick" about 5 times now - I just re-read it, again,
> and I swear it STILL strikes me as hilarious. The whole book is filled
> with the greatest jokes. It's a real rib-tickler.
>
> For those of you who don't know the book, (or those who do but may
> have forgotten), "Slapstick" is the book K called the closest thing
> he'll ever write to an autobiography.
>
> That's a joke in itself because the book is ostensibly about K and his
> sister, who he said was the person he wrote all his books for. She
> died some years before he wrote "Slapstick" and he was on a flight
> with his brother, going to some other funeral, when he came up with
> the ideas for "Slapstick". It's ostensibly a crazy parody of Kurt and
> his sister.
>
> The main characters are Eliza Mellon and Wilbur Rockefeller Swain, a
> brother and sister who are freakishly tall and ugly, and who, between
> them have the brain of a genius, but when separated, are dumb as rocks
> - well at least, far short of "genius". Eliza cannot read nor write,
> she is the intuitive part of the genius pair; and Wilbur can read and
> write but has little real intelligence without Eliza's intuition and
> insights.
>
> There is a lot of funny stuff going on, like how they pretend to be
> idiots, because that is what their parents expect of them. Whenever
> anyone is around they say only stuff like "Buh" and "duh", bluh bluh
> duh and etc...
>
> Without giving too much away, I would like to share with you what I
> think is one of Vonnegut's best jokes of all time. In order to do
> that, I must fill you in on a few more details, but I won't give too
> much away. Anyway, the joy of reading it is in the details and style,
> so it won't ruin the book for you.
>
> So the parents finally find out their secret, that they really are not
> idiots, and the intelligence tests had shown when they were tested
> -individually- that Wilbur is of average intelligence but Eliza is an
> idiot because she cannot read nor write, so the doctor suggests that
> Wilbur be separated from his idiot sister and be sent to a normal
> school while she is sent to a special school for idiots.
>
> So the parents are going to separate them, which is when Eliza and
> Wilbur decide to prove their genius as one mind, so they insist on
> being tested while TOGETHER, so they will not be separated. The
> following is what happens.
>
> I believe Kurt will forgive me, as he looks on from the Turkey Farm,
> as I copy 2 pages from "Slapstick" below, with all rights to the
> author of course:
> -----------------------------
>
> "So Eliza and I were re-tested - as a PAIR this time. We sat
> side-by-side at the stainless steel table in the tiled diningroom.
>
> We were so happy!
>
> A depersonalized Dr. Cordelia Swain Cordiner administered the tests
> like a robot, while our parents looked on. She has furnished us with
> new tests, so that the chalenges would all be fresh.
>
> Before we began, Eliza said to Mother and Father, "We promise to
> answer every question correctly."
>
> Which we did.
>
> What were the questions like? Well, I was poking around the ruins of a
> school on Forty-sixth Street yesterday, and I was lucky enough to find
> a whole batch of intelligence tests, all set to go.
>
> I quote: "A man purchased 100 shares of stock at five dollars a share.
> If each share rose ten cents the first month, decreased eight cents
> the second month, and gained three cents the third month, what was the
> value of the man's investment at the end of the third month?"
>
> Or try this:
> "How many digits are there to the left of the decimal place in the
> square root of 692038.42753?"
> Or this:
> A yellow tulip viewed through a piece of blue glass looks what color?"
> Or this:
> "Why does the Little Dipper appear to turn about the North Star once a
> day?"
> Or this:
> "Astronomy is to geology as steeplejack is to what?"
> And so on. Hi ho.
> ***
>
> We made good on Eliza's promise of perfection, as I have said.
>
> The only trouble was that the two of us, in the innocent process of
> checking and rechecking our answers, wound up under the table - with
> our legs wrapped around each others' necks in scissors grips, and
> snorting and snuffling into each others' crotches.
>
> When we regained our chairs, Dr. Cordelia Swain Cordiner had fainted,
> and our parents were gone.
> ***
>
> At ten o'clock the next morning, I was taken by automobile to a school
> for severely disturbed children on Cape Cod."
>
> - Chapter 18 from "Slapstick" by Kurt Vonnegut
> ------------------------------------------------------
>
> Does anyone else find that hilarious?! I do.
>
> The whole book is hilarious. It's very dark, dry humor, about the end
> of the world as we know it.
>
> And it can be read in about an hour or two (I read it in bits and
> pieces so I can't say for sure exactly how long it took, but it's a
> very quick read, with each chapter being 2-4 pages, typically.)
>
> I highly recommend it if you want to laugh, while grieving over the
> passing of Kurt, to the Turkey Farm.
>
> Hi ho.
>
>
>
>