'Twas the nocturnal segment...

From the science pedant's friend John, A chief gateway engineer
[head geek] at Nike:

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'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the
annual Yuletide celebration and throughout our place of residence,
kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this
potential, including that species of diminutive rodent known as
Mus musculus. Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward
edge of the wood-burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our
anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an
eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the
honorific title of St. Nick.

The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their
respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing
subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated saccarinose fruit
confections performing choreography through their cerebrums. My
conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal head-coverings,
were about to take slumberous advantage of the Arctic-like gloom
when upon the avenaceous exterior portion of the grounds there
ascended such a cacophony of dissonance that I felt compelled to
arise with alacrity from my place of repose for the purpose of
ascertaining the precise source thereof.

Hastening to the casement, I forthwith opened the barriers sealing
this fenestration, noting thereupon that the lunar brilliance
without, reflecting as it was upon the surface of a recent
crystalline aqueous precipitation, might be said to rival that of
the solar meridian itself--thus permitting my incredulous optical
sensory organs to behold a miniature airborne runnered conveyance,
drawn by an octet of diminutive specimens of the genus Rangifer,
piloted by a miniscule, aged chauffeur so ebullient and nimble
that it became instantly apparent to me that he was indeed our
anticipated beatified caller. With this ungulate motive power
traveling at a greater vertiginous velocity than patriotic alar
predators, he vociferated loudly, expelled breath musically
through contracted labia, and addressed each of the octet by his
or her cognomen: "Now Dasher, now Dancer," et al, guiding them to
the uppermost exterior level of our abode, through which structure
I could readily distinguish the concatenations of each of the sum
total of the thirty-two cloven pedal extremities.

As I retracted my cranium from its erstwhile location and was
performing a pi radians pivot, our distinguished visitant
achieved, with utmost celerity, via a downward salutation, entry
by way of the ceramic smoke passage. He was clad entirely in
animal integuments, soiled by the ebony residue from partial
oxidation of carboniferous fuels. His resemblance to a street
vendor I attributed to the plethora of assorted playthings which
he bore dorsally in a commodious cloth receptacle. His orbs were
scintillant with reflected luminosity, while his submaxillary
dermal indentations gave every evidence of engaging amiability.
The capillaries of his malar regions and nasal appurtenances were
engorged with crimson circulatory fluid which, its chroma
suffusing the dermal layers, approximated the retinal sensation
reflected by the Prunus avium, or sweet cherry. His amusing sub-
and supralabials resembled nothing so much as a flexible, curved
strip of wood associated with the American aborigines and their
ambient, hirsute, facial adornment had an absence of coloring
comparable to crystalline frozen hydrogen oxide vapor. Clenched
firmly between his incisors was the posterior projection of
acalumet whose gray colloidal aerosol fumes, forming a tenuous
ellipticaltorus about his occiput, were suggestive of a decorative
seasonal circlet of holly. His visage was wider than it was high,
and when he waxed mirthful, his corpulent abdominal region
undulated in the manner of inpectinated fruit syrup in a colloidal
gel state within a hemispherical container. He was of Napoleonic
stature, neither more nor less than an obese, jocund,
multigenarian gnome, the optical perception of whom rendered me
visibly frolicsome despite every effort to refrain from being so
affected by this risiblity. By rapidly lowering and then elevating
one eyelid and rotating his head slightly eccentricly, he
indicated that trepidation on my part was superfluous. Without
utterance, but with noticeable dispatch, he commenced filling the
aforementioned appended hosiery with various of the articles of
merchandise extracted from his aforementioned previously dorsally
transported cloth receptacle.

Upon completion of this task, he executed an abrupt pi radian
rotation about the vertical axis, placed a single manual digit in
lateral juxtaposition to his olfactory organ, inclined his cranium
forward in a gesture of leave taking, and effected his egress by
salutation up the smoke passage through which he had made ingress.
He then propelled himself in a short vector onto his rustic winter
conveyance. Contracting his oral sphincter, he emitted a shrill
series of notes to the antlered quadrupeds of burden and proceeded
to soar aloft in a movement hitherto observed chiefly among the
seed bearing portions of a common weed. But I overheard his
parting exclamation, audible immediately prior to his vehiculation
beyond the limits of visibility: "Ecstatic Yuletide to the
planetary constituency, and to the selfsame assemblage, my
sincerest wishes for a salubriously beneficial and gratifyingly
pleasurable period between sunset and dawn."


Merry Christmas.

--

I'm glad my Mom named me Aaron,
That's what everybody calls me.

Hemidemisemideity of Anonymous Eponymity
Patron Saint of Hair Color Changing
Currently: Dark Mahogany on top
   Blue-black nape
Holder of a provisional pedant licens/ce
(limited to the area of physical sciens/ce)
Member of ABMLNCSC - Base singer, very base
"Mommy, make daddy stop singing"

There are 10 kinds of people in this world,
Those who understand Binary, and those who don't.<!-- ~MESSAGE_AFTER~ -->