The blind man

"Don Bruder" wrote...

> > Have you heard about the blind man who picked up a hammer and saw?
>
> Wasn't he a carpenter with two crippled kids, and a deaf wife that
> screamed at them when they ran out in the street?
>

there's nothing to stop a deaf person from screaming.
in fact they are more likely to do so when learning to
speak, since they have no way of gauging how loud
they are.


--
Ron

A boy's will is the wind's will,
and the thoughts of youth are
long, long thoughts.
-Longfellow
 >> Stay informed about: The blind man 

In article <45f473ca.RemoveThis@news.bnb-lp.com>,
"Talashar" <Talashar.RemoveThis@SPAMBEGONEgmail.com> wrote:

> "Don Bruder" wrote...
>
> > > Have you heard about the blind man who picked up a hammer and saw?
> >
> > Wasn't he a carpenter with two crippled kids, and a deaf wife that
> > screamed at them when they ran out in the street?
> >
>
> there's nothing to stop a deaf person from screaming.
> in fact they are more likely to do so when learning to
> speak, since they have no way of gauging how loud
> they are.

True, but those crippled kids running out in the street, on the other
hand...


Lemme see if I can remember how an old chestnut from my grade-school
days went... I think it was something like this:

One bright day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to
fight. Back to back, they stabbed each other, back to back, they shot
each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise, and he came and he shot
the two dead boys. And if you don't believe this lie is true, ask the
blind man - he saw it too!

--
Don Bruder - dakidd.RemoveThis@sonic.net - If your "From:" address isn't on my whitelist,
or the subject of the message doesn't contain the exact text "PopperAndShadow"
somewhere, any message sent to this address will go in the garbage without my
ever knowing it arrived. Sorry... <http://www.sonic.net/~dakidd> for more info
 >> Stay informed about: The blind man 

Talashar wrote:

> Have you heard about the blind man who picked up a hammer and saw?
>


The way my DH tells that one is --
"I see. I see," said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw.


'wyrm
 >> Stay informed about: The blind man 

On Mon, 12 Mar 2007 16:48:47 -0400, Tristaan <tristaanus.DeleteThis@yahoo.com>
wrote:

>On Sun, 11 Mar 2007 15:06:14 -0700, Don Bruder stomped through my
>brain with:
>
<snip>
>
>Same concept, different wording:
>
>One fine day, about midnight,
<snip>
>
>Another poem that's a favorite is:
>
>Ladies and Jellyspoons!
<snip>
>
>Tristaan

This is the one my grandmother taught me:

Ladies and Gentiles,
Reptiles and Crocodiles
I stand upon this speech to make a platform.

I stand in this Town Hall tonight,
to say there will be a meeting this afternoon.

Tickets free; pay at the door
Seats all around; sit on the floor.

There you will see a living monkey,
stuffed with straw
eating boiled potatoes raw.

Later on, early this morning
a fire broke out in an empty house.
A man, not being in, rushed down the stairs
fell over a bucket of cold water, and scalded seven children.
They were removed to the Royal Infirmary Hospital
where they died, and were in good health.

I thank you.

The Bookwurm <bows right, bows left, bows out>
--
Goddess of Libraries ™,
Pedant in Chief
Keeper of the BotRoM
Sister Hand Grenade of Sweet Reason
Believer, Church of the Cosmic Muffin
<spam trapped - remove the fish from address>
 >> Stay informed about: The blind man 

On Sun, 11 Mar 2007 15:06:14 -0700, Don Bruder stomped through my
brain with:

>One bright day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to
>fight. Back to back, they stabbed each other, back to back, they shot
>each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise, and he came and he shot
>the two dead boys. And if you don't believe this lie is true, ask the
>blind man - he saw it too!

Same concept, different wording:

One fine day, about midnight,
two dead boys rose to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
Two deaf policement heard the noise,
came and shot those two dead boys.
If y'don't believe this lie is true,
ask the blindman, he saw it, too.

Another poem that's a favorite is:

Ladies and Jellyspoons!
Hobos and tramps!
Crosseyed mosquitoes and bow-legged ants!
I come before you to stand beside you
to tell you something I know nothing about.
There will be a father's day meeting on good friday for mother's
only.
Admission is free, you pay at the door.
Pull up a seat and sit on the floor.
The meeting will take place on the four corners of a round table.

Tristaan

--
Beware Spam Trap!: "us" is an "ogre"
*******************************************************
Ogre-Monk, AIM TristaanOgre
God of Grilled-SPAM™ and Summer, Disciple of Babble
Assistant Librarian/Orangutan, Pedant Target,
Chief Brute, Husband of Amethyst, Father of Charis and Talia
Co-Owner of The Ogre, the Elf, The Imp, and The Urchin
Keyboard Martyr, Keeper of the ABML Cookbook
PGP Public Key available
*******************************************************
"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a
mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from
here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be
impossible for you." - Matthew 17:20, NIV
Want to know more?
http://www.smallseeds.org/forums/viewforum.php?f=9
*******************************************************
 >> Stay informed about: The blind man 

In article <K7mJh.5934$vb.4754@trndny04>, Aaron <kemtek.1.TakeThisOut@gmail.com>
wrote:

> >> Have you heard about the blind man who picked up a hammer and saw?
> >
> > The way my DH tells that one is --
> > "I see. I see," said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw.
> >
> > 'wyrm
>
> BTW, it is no longer politically correct to refer to people with thick
> glasses as being "blind as a bat".
>
> The PC term is "Optically challenged as a bat".

Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical
liberal minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream
media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible
to pick up a piece of fecal matter by the clean end.

GRF
 >> Stay informed about: The blind man 

>> Have you heard about the blind man who picked up a hammer and saw?
>
> The way my DH tells that one is --
> "I see. I see," said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw.
>
> 'wyrm

BTW, it is no longer politically correct to refer to people with thick
glasses as being "blind as a bat".

The PC term is "Optically challenged as a bat".

--
I'm glad my Mom named me Aaron,
That's what everybody calls me.

Hemidemisemideity of Anonymous Eponymity
Patron Saint of Hair Color Changing
Currently: Dark Violet Red with
Lot'sa Violet Black accents,
Very Purply looking See here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/14163655@N00/338135186/
Holder of a provisional pedant licens/ce
(limited to the area of physical sciens/ce)
Member of ABMLNCSC - Base singer, very base
"Mommy, make daddy stop singing".

I dye my hair so much my driver's license
has a color wheel. Nancy Mura
 >> Stay informed about: The blind man 

On Mon, 12 Mar 2007 16:29:33 -0700, Rhino 7 stomped through my
brain with:

<snippage>
>I thank you.
>
>The Bookwurm <bows right, bows left, bows out>

For some odd reason, this whole conversation puts into my mind a
song.

Ahem

<singing to the tune of "I'm looking over a four leaf clover.">

"I'm looking over, my dead dog, Rover, who I overlooked before,
One paw is missing, the other is gone, the other two are
scattered all over the lawn.
I'm looking over, my dead dog, Rover, who I ran over with the
lawnmower."
</singing>

Tristaan

--
Beware Spam Trap!: "us" is an "ogre"
*******************************************************
Ogre-Monk, AIM TristaanOgre
God of Grilled-SPAM™ and Summer, Disciple of Babble
Assistant Librarian/Orangutan, Pedant Target,
Chief Brute, Husband of Amethyst, Father of Charis and Talia
Co-Owner of The Ogre, the Elf, The Imp, and The Urchin
Keyboard Martyr, Keeper of the ABML Cookbook
PGP Public Key available
*******************************************************
"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a
mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from
here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be
impossible for you." - Matthew 17:20, NIV
Want to know more?
http://www.smallseeds.org/forums/viewforum.php?f=9
*******************************************************
 >> Stay informed about: The blind man 

In article <pqadv2d3k91esk0b7ki1vo0ljp1b3hom7n.TakeThisOut@4ax.com>,
Tristaan <tristaanus.TakeThisOut@yahoo.com> wrote:

> On Mon, 12 Mar 2007 16:29:33 -0700, Rhino 7 stomped through my
> brain with:
>
> <snippage>
> >I thank you.
> >
> >The Bookwurm <bows right, bows left, bows out>
>
> For some odd reason, this whole conversation puts into my mind a
> song.
>
> Ahem
>
> <singing to the tune of "I'm looking over a four leaf clover.">
>
> "I'm looking over, my dead dog, Rover, who I overlooked before,
> One paw is missing, the other is gone, the other two are
> scattered all over the lawn.
> I'm looking over, my dead dog, Rover, who I ran over with the
> lawnmower."
> </singing>

They don't come
when you call
They don't chase
squirrels at all
Dead puppies aren't much fun...

My Puppy died
late last fall.
He's still rotting
in the hall.
Dead puppies aren't
much
fun

Mom says Puppy's
days are through
she's going to throw him
in the stew.
Dead puppies aren't
much
fun
no, no, no...

--
Don Bruder - dakidd.TakeThisOut@sonic.net - If your "From:" address isn't on my whitelist,
or the subject of the message doesn't contain the exact text "PopperAndShadow"
somewhere, any message sent to this address will go in the garbage without my
ever knowing it arrived. Sorry... <http://www.sonic.net/~dakidd> for more info
 >> Stay informed about: The blind man 

></singing>
>
>Tristaan

<singing>
Roly Poly Fish Heads will never be seen drinking cappuccino in Italian
Restaurants with Oriental women. Yeah
</singing>

Dr. Demento rules!!

The Bookwurm
--
Goddess of Libraries ™,
Pedant in Chief
Keeper of the BotRoM
Sister Hand Grenade of Sweet Reason
Believer, Church of the Cosmic Muffin
<spam trapped - remove the fish from address>
 >> Stay informed about: The blind man 

On Tue, 13 Mar 2007 13:40:45 -0700, Don Bruder stomped through my
brain with:

>They don't come
>when you call
>They don't chase
>squirrels at all
>Dead puppies aren't much fun...
>
>My Puppy died
>late last fall.
>He's still rotting
>in the hall.
>Dead puppies aren't
>much
>fun
>
>Mom says Puppy's
>days are through
>she's going to throw him
>in the stew.
>Dead puppies aren't
>much
>fun
>no, no, no...

<sigh> While I have all the Dr. Demento Christmas Albums, I don't
have that song anywhere...

Gonna have to go shopping...

Tristaan
--
Beware Spam Trap!: "us" is an "ogre"
*******************************************************
Ogre-Monk, AIM TristaanOgre
God of Grilled-SPAM™ and Summer, Disciple of Babble
Assistant Librarian/Orangutan, Pedant Target,
Chief Brute, Husband of Amethyst, Father of Charis and Talia
Co-Owner of The Ogre, the Elf, The Imp, and The Urchin
Keyboard Martyr, Keeper of the ABML Cookbook
PGP Public Key available
*******************************************************
"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a
mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from
here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be
impossible for you." - Matthew 17:20, NIV
Want to know more?
http://www.smallseeds.org/forums/viewforum.php?f=9
*******************************************************
 >> Stay informed about: The blind man 

On Tue, 13 Mar 2007 16:42:14 -0700, Rhino 7 stomped through my
brain with:

><singing>
>Roly Poly Fish Heads will never be seen drinking cappuccino in Italian
>Restaurants with Oriental women. Yeah
></singing>
>
>Dr. Demento rules!!

<singing>
They're coming to take me away, ha-ha! They're coming to take me
away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-ha...
</singing>

Tristaan (who lives out that song on a daily basis)
--
Beware Spam Trap!: "us" is an "ogre"
*******************************************************
Ogre-Monk, AIM TristaanOgre
God of Grilled-SPAM™ and Summer, Disciple of Babble
Assistant Librarian/Orangutan, Pedant Target,
Chief Brute, Husband of Amethyst, Father of Charis and Talia
Co-Owner of The Ogre, the Elf, The Imp, and The Urchin
Keyboard Martyr, Keeper of the ABML Cookbook
PGP Public Key available
*******************************************************
"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a
mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from
here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be
impossible for you." - Matthew 17:20, NIV
Want to know more?
http://www.smallseeds.org/forums/viewforum.php?f=9
*******************************************************
 >> Stay informed about: The blind man 

In article <r47gv2p9vqs6ke6f3cs7anidm9m4augovv.RemoveThis@4ax.com>,
Tristaan <tristaanus.RemoveThis@yahoo.com> wrote:

> On Tue, 13 Mar 2007 13:40:45 -0700, Don Bruder stomped through my
> brain with:
>
> >They don't come
> >when you call
> >They don't chase
> >squirrels at all
> >Dead puppies aren't much fun...
> >
> >My Puppy died
> >late last fall.
> >He's still rotting
> >in the hall.
> >Dead puppies aren't
> >much
> >fun
> >
> >Mom says Puppy's
> >days are through
> >she's going to throw him
> >in the stew.
> >Dead puppies aren't
> >much
> >fun
> >no, no, no...
>
> <sigh> While I have all the Dr. Demento Christmas Albums, I don't
> have that song anywhere...
>
> Gonna have to go shopping...
You sick, perverted person, you! What kind of twisted personality
DOESN'T have a copy of Dead Puppies?!?!?

Ewwwww... Now I need to go wash my fingers in alcohol... I feel dirty
just typing at you!


(Or something...)

--
Don Bruder - dakidd.RemoveThis@sonic.net - If your "From:" address isn't on my whitelist,
or the subject of the message doesn't contain the exact text "PopperAndShadow"
somewhere, any message sent to this address will go in the garbage without my
ever knowing it arrived. Sorry... <http://www.sonic.net/~dakidd> for more info
 >> Stay informed about: The blind man