Okay. Fine. Morgoth's Curse <morgothscurse2002.RemoveThis@nospam.yahoo.com> wrote:
> The Who's Who of the Tolkien Newsgroups 2008 *
Can you play if you only post once every few years?
> Name/Alias(es):
O. Sharp. Alias: God-Emperor of the Known Universe.
> Gender:
Yes. Definitely.
> Age:
47.
> Nationality:
These days I'm a little scared to admit to it. :/ Suffice to say I
_could_ have voted for Mr. Reagan or either of the Bushes, but am glad to
report I didn't.
> Posting since:
<does a quick lookup> "Sat, 10 Dec 1994 20:01:25 GMT".
> Heroes:
I'm honestly not sure I've ever _had_ a hero. There are people I have a
lasting, deep respect for, and from whom I still learn: F.D.R., John
Cleese (not so much for his humor as for his writing about his experiences
in life, though I do like his humor), Nikola Tesla, and just in the last
few months I've started listening to recordings of M.L. King's old
sermons and been quite moved by them. But "heroes", to me, brings an
unwelcome connotation of being all googly-eyed and sappy and writing fan
letters and putting pictures of the Object Of Adoration[tm] up all over
the house. That is _emphatically_ not me.
> What are your hobbies and/or interests?:
Woodworking. Programming. Restoring vintage computers (including a PDP-8/I
and a PDP-12). Basset hounds. Writing. Historical research. Wandering
around used bookstores. Walking. Erotic bondage. Old movies. Why the hell
am I telling _you_ all this? Are you going to buy me a compound miter saw
or something?
> What do you dislike?:
Apart from the Obvious Dislikes (war, suffering, mindless theocracy,
accidentally shooting nail-guns into my hand, He Who Must Not Be Named),
not that much; I'm reasonably tolerant. Lemme think... Okay. I dislike
the fact that our house is so small that I haven't got room for all of
my hobbies.
> How did you discover the works of J.R.R. Tolkien?:
My older brothers were reading it when I was about seven. I had to borrow
their copies to see what all the fuss was about.
> Which of J.R.R. Tolkien's books have you read and which is your
> favorite?:
Oh, for God's sake. For the former question I'd have to generate a
book-list. For the latter you'd get a different answer every half-hour.
I'd suspect if I had to pick a favorite bit, it'd be the various
incarnations of the Tale Of Beren And Luthien - particularly the version
in _Lays Of Beleriand_.
> Which is your favorite character from "The Hobbit"? "The Lord of the
> Rings"? "The Silmarillion"?:
Isn't that like asking what your favorite ingredient is in a recipe? The
question is making my head hurt. Pass.
> Where would you live if you could dwell anywhere in Middle-earth?:
I suppose Tainquetil is out of the question.
I'd say Nargothrond
while it was at peace and before Celegorm and Curufin showed up; or
Khazad-dum before Durin's Bane showed up (or, hell, even before Annatar,
Lord Of Gifts showed up and started teaching Ring-lore to everybody).
> Which lord would you serve if you lived in Middle-earth? (You can
> choose any of the lords from any of the first three ages.):
"I don't work for anybody. Everybody works for _me_."
-Jonas Acme, Fair-Haired Pharoah Of American Industry,
from Firesign Theatre's _Tale Of The Giant Rat Of Sumatra_.
> Have you ever tried to learn to speak or write any of the languages
> that Tolkien invented?:
As others have noted, "tried" is the operative word.
> Has Tolkien inspired you to write any stories of your own?:
I have written stories of my own, but Tolkien didn't really inspire me to
write them. He _has_, however, inspired me to write many bad Middle-Earth
jokes of varying length.
....Actually, I may have to revise my answer. Is "Saruman's Diary"
(http://flyingmoose.org/tolksarc/saruman.htm) something one would consider
a "story"?
> Has Tolkien had any impact on the moral choices of your life? (In
> other words, did you recall specific quotes from his works when you
> were trying to figure out what was the right thing to do?):
I do find Gandalf taught me more than I had consciously realized while
reading. As a typical example, when looking at a problem which admits of a
"quick fix" solution or a permanent solution which requires a hell of a
lot more time and effort to make happen, I find myself mumbling thinkgs
like, "We should seek a final end of this menace" and suchlike.
> Would you recommend the works of Tolkien to your friends?:
I've _bought_ the works of Tolkien for my friends, so that would be yes.
I mean, come on! The name of the newsgroup isn't "rec.arts.books.well-we-
-don't-really-like-the-guy".
> Do you have a favorite Tolkien-related website?:
I _should_ immediately answer _The Tolkien Sarcasm Page_
(http://flyingmoose.org/tolksarc/tolksarc.htm), especially as it's
mine anyway.
But I will admit I've found one I like better: _Tales
From The Prancing Pony_, at
http://www.amazonsystems.co.uk/pony/pp.htm, my
only complaint about it being that it is too short.
> What is your favorite Tolkien-related reference book?:
_LotR: A Reader's Companion_ by Hammond and Scull.
> What other authors has Tolkien inspired you to read?:
Errr, none, really. Unless you could Hammond and Scull, I suppose. Or
Christopher Tolkien. Or the others in this newsgroup.
> What other authors do you currently enjoy reading?:
I've been reading a lot of Lovecraft over the past year or so, and
transcripts of Martin Luther King's speeches - which, needless to say,
are pretty easy to keep separate.
....One question you could add for _next_ year's questionnaire would be:
what books (apart from JRRT) could you not do without? I'd pick three:
_Families And How To Survive Them_ by John Cleese and Robin Skynner, _West
With The Night_ by Beryl Markham and maybe the _Captain Blood_ series by
Rafael Sabatini.
> Did you enjoy any of the movies about Middle-earth?:
Er. Uhm.
Visually, I thought Jackson's movies were extremely well-done. I thought
their visual depictions of Middle-earth were spot-on.
In terms of character, though, I thought their depicting Elrond as a
despiser of Men, Faramir as a spineless dolt, Denethor as a scummy tyrant
with absolutely no redeeming qualities, Merry and Pippin as juvenile
delinquents, Treebeard as so disinterested in the world he had to be
_tricked_ into going to Isengard, Aragorn as afraid of his title, Arwen as
a sword-wielding lunatic who greets her beloved by holding a sword to his
throat, Eowyn as a sword-wielding lunatic who _also_ greets Aragorn by
holding a sword to his throat (and, in the extended version, can't cook
either, an idea which didn't exactly serve the character _or_ the plot),
Galadriel as an outright power-mad psychotic who upon sight of the Ring
turns into Evil Queen Iron-Pants complete with solid-steel brassiere,
Legolas as (in Orlando Bloom's own words) "a sort of Elvish assassin",
and Gimli as... Gimli as something so completely and quintessentially
non-Gimli in every way, non-heroic, non-noble, non-intelligent and, most
ironically of all, non-funny (*) - took away a certain enjoyment of the
movies for me. Like, nearly all of it.
Grrrrr.
(*) - In the book, I found Gimli extremely humorous at times - but in a
quiet, practical, dry-wit sort of way. For example, in "The King Of The
Golden Hall", when Aragorn has been arguing with Hama about leaving
Anduril outside the door, he finally leaves his sword with the admonition
that "Death shall come to any man that draws Elendil's sword save
Elendil's heir." Gandalf has already left Glamdring, and Legolas his
weapons from Lothlorien that Hama is clearly terrified to touch. It
always makes me laugh when Gimli caps the scene off nicely with:
"Well, if it has Anduril to keep it company, my axe may stay here, too,
without shame."
...._Much_ funnier, I think, than the movie, where they jusy have them
taking off heaps of hidden weapons with the notion that having lots of
weapons is, in itself, somehow funny.
> Bonus question: Are you friend or foe of TEUNC, the Dark Lord of
> Chaos and Strife?
I have long respected the fine and noble art of TEUNCing, and have long
given my respects to the noble Dr. Hsu. That said, however, I still refuse
to make the Sign of M, nor to acknowledge the existence of any deified
human power greater than myself.
> Notes:
Fix kitchen sink.
Take rightful place as God-Emperor.
Reroof front porch this Spring.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
ohh.RemoveThis@panix.com Ah, good. I've made my annual post. Now I can go
back to lurking till 2009.
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