I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of
my face.
You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just
as long as you don't have to go along.
Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to
every man. Isn't that an ironic time for a guy to get those odds?
Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to
go anywhere.
Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have
begun to grow in the middle.
Someone has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends.
What could hell possibly be like? Home videos of the same reunion?
A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by
his Doctor instead of by the police.
Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the
one that will get you home earlier.
You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is
the only thing you care to exercise.
At my age, "getting a little action" means I don't need to take a
laxative.
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will
avoid you.
The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way
through Congress.
You're getting old when "getting lucky" means you find your car in
the parking lot.
You're getting old when your wife gives up fooling around for Lent,
and you don't know till the 4th of July.
You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after
feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before
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