Who killed Tolkien?

On 7 Dez., 22:59, "Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III"
<pseudony... DeleteThis @fats.teunc.org> wrote:
>
> So who did it? At this stage in our investigations I can think of two
> possibilities: anti-tobacco extremists, and Basque separatists angry
> at Tolkien's noble role in the Spanish Civil War.

Tolkien is not dead! He merely transcended this world and reached a
new plane of half-divine existence from where he continues to give
good advice to those pious enough to summon him, comparable to the
fate of Hercules, Jesus Christus or, more recently, Benjamin Sisko.

Noel
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Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III wrote:

> So who did it?

Whoever they are, they may still be out there -- and they could
come after *you* if you keep asking embarrassing questions!

Here's a hint however, but keep this strictly on the Q.T.
Mum's the word. It is alleged that King George V of England was
assassinated by his own doctor.

Obviously, Dark Forces were at work, because the pro-Nazi Prince
of Wales then became king as Edward VIII. One of his first acts
was to allow the Wainriders to reoccupy the demilitarized Wainland.

The Dark Forces didn't have it all their own way, however.

Other Powers were also at work, who thrust "that awful woman"
onto the scene. History has not been kind to her, but she it was who
dragged the treasonous king off his throne within a year.

Naturally, Tolkien was aware of all these developments. He may claim
that the real war didn't influence his fiction, but I don't believe it.

Sean_Q_
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On Dec 8, 3:54 pm, Sean <no.s....RemoveThis@no.spam> wrote:
> Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III wrote:
> > So who did it?

> Obviously, Dark Forces were at work, because the pro-Nazi Prince
> of Wales then became king as Edward VIII. One of his first acts
> was to allow the Wainriders to reoccupy the demilitarized Wainland.
>
> The Dark Forces didn't have it all their own way, however.
>
> Other Powers were also at work, who thrust "that awful woman"
> onto the scene. History has not been kind to her, but she it was who
> dragged the treasonous king off his throne within a year.
>
> Naturally, Tolkien was aware of all these developments. He may claim
> that the real war didn't influence his fiction, but I don't believe it.

these are all good points, and even pseudo's arguments are, for a rare
wonder, not without merit.

but personally, i suspect the elves. when their propaganda tools have
done their work, they drop them. besides, tolkien knew too much.
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Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III wrote:
> Humphrey Carpenter's biography reports that Tolkien "almost certainly"
> did not expect to die so soon. This creates an immediate ground for
> suspicion of foul play. But who stood to gain from such an atrocious
> crime?
>
> Despite Christopher Tolkien's fabrications in HOME, and his occasional
> blackmail notes, I do not believe he had the stomach to do the deed.
> Our psychologists are unanimous that he does not fit the profile of a
> murderer. We can also discount C.S. Lewis and Charles Williams, who
> were already dead, and Steuard Jensen, who was not yet born.
>
> So who did it? At this stage in our investigations I can think of two
> possibilities: anti-tobacco extremists, and Basque separatists angry
> at Tolkien's noble role in the Spanish Civil War.

The proper phrasing of the question:

Who shot J.R.R.?

--
Dan Clore

My collected fiction, _The Unspeakable and Others_:
http://tinyurl.com/3akhhr
Lord Weÿrdgliffe & Necronomicon Page:
http://www.geocities.com/clorebeast/
News & Views for Anarchists & Activists:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/smygo

Strange pleasures are known to him who flaunts the
immarcescible purple of poetry before the color-blind.
-- Clark Ashton Smith, "Epigrams and Apothegms"
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On Dec 19, 3:40 am, Dan Clore <cl....DeleteThis@columbia-center.org> wrote:
> Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III wrote:

> > So who did it? At this stage in our investigations I can think of two
> > possibilities: anti-tobacco extremists, and Basque separatists angry
> > at Tolkien's noble role in the Spanish Civil War.
>
> The proper phrasing of the question:
>
> Who shot J.R.R.?

I believe this has the makings of an excellent TV series.
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